School is like…
By Braden | June 11, 2008
I am in Summer School right now. Not Summer School like “I was a bad kid during the rest of the year,” but Summer School like “I’m married.” I’m taking two classes that I really don’t like (read: “brutally despise”). So for me, at this point, school is like gambling. Allow me to explain.
I go in to take a test. I’ve studied, but that doesn’t mean I know anything. I look at the bubble sheet, choose some random letters, maybe ones that correspond with my name or birthdate, and turn it in. Then, as I go to look at the scores screen, I’m thinking to myself, “Come on, big money, big money!” Invariably I’m disappointed because I don’t win. I think there are about the same odds of me getting 100% as there are of me winning the lottery, but there’s always next time.
Topics: Gripes, Oh dear | 3 Comments »
And now, an award-winning journalist
By Logan | June 7, 2008
That’s right folks, Dyneuxmite co-founder Logan Molyneux was awarded two prizes at the Associated Press’s regional competition this year. I won first place in General Reporting for this story I wrote about vaccines. I also won second place in the reviews category for my dining reviews. (I really can’t remember which three reviews I entered, but I think they included this one and this one.) The reporting award was in a category of papers with circulations between 10,000 and 50,000 in the Utah-Idaho-Spokane area, so about five or six different papers, I think. But the reviews winners were chosen from all papers in the area, including bigger ones like the Salt Lake Tribune and the Idaho Statesman. So in the reviews category, it was the entertainment guy from the Tribune, then me, then the movies guy from the Desert News. So even the second place one is pretty cool. I got a big plaque for my first place win and a check for $25 (!) and I got a certificate for the second place one. Sorry for the bragging, but I’m pretty excited.
Topics: Awesome | 10 Comments »
A short history of Pilates
By Braden | June 5, 2008
Pilates, as you all know, is a popular form of exercise among women and females. It involves moving, which means exercise. Pilates was invented back around 30 A.D. by a man named Pontius Pilate (you can see where it got its name). Pilate wasn’t well known and his exercise movement didn’t really catch on until he was briefly mentioned in a popular publication, the Bible. The Bible was a popular journal of the day and could be found at newsstands and in supermarkets, so to be mentioned there was a pretty big deal. Anyway, Pilate was actually more well known for being the father of aviation (you can see where pilots get their name).
After making some bad court-related decisions he fled the country and changed his name to Pontius Wright. Upon settling in Kittyhawk, NC, he met a couple dudes named Wilbur Wright and Orville Redenbacher. Wilbur was actually just a pig that got famous for having some spider for a friend and Orville had some crazy obsession with corn and butter. After hanging out with these guys for a while, Pontius got bored and built a jumbo jet. But since jet fuel didn’t exist at the time he became depressed and faded from history books. Orville, after having success in other industries, used some of his money to make a lightweight aircraft. He, too, changed his name to Wright and, after putting Wilbur in the plane and launching it with a giant rubber band, became famous (with his “brother”) for being the inventor of flight. And that, my friends, is how we got the phrase “when pigs fly”. The end.
Topics: Awesome, Funny | 4 Comments »
How to have an enjoyable, romantic Saturday in 20 easy steps
By Logan | June 3, 2008
1. Make plans to receive spa treatments with your wife while the baby sleeps at Grandpa’s house.
2. Make plans to have lunch with your wife before spa treatments. Use a coupon to save money (she won’t mind).
3. Scrap plans for lunch when baby won’t sleep.
4. Scrap plans for spa treatments when baby still won’t sleep.
5. Go out for lunch while Grandpa plays with baby because you’re starving by now.
6. Discover the coupon is no longer valid because restaurant has closed down.
7. Choose another restaurant nearby for which you also have a coupon.
8. Discover that restaurant has also closed down, making your coupon invalid and ruining plans for lunch.
9. Grab something to eat at Wendy’s, including a chocolate Frosty dairy dessert.
10. Go pick up baby, who is a wreck after being awake for seven hours straight, possibly setting a baby record.
11. Rush home, forgetting to take important items from Grandpa’s with you (mountain bikes, maybe).
12. Lull baby to sleep with high-speed freeway driving.
13. Arrive home and unload car, except for baby, who is still sleeping.
14. Call for wife to carry sleeping baby into house.
15. Helpfully offer to hold front door for wife but fail to notice half-open garage door hovering just at forehead height.
16. Collide with garage door along hairline causing cranial laceration and quite a loud crash.
17. Collapse on driveway in pain and despair as your head bleeds and your baby awakes, screaming.
18. Call brother to cancel evening plans on account of massive headache and inconsolable child.
19. Take four ibuprophen and crawl under bed.
20. Wait for Sunday.
Topics: Funny | 5 Comments »
Bright Ideas
By Braden | May 27, 2008
So a federal appeals court ruled the other day that our paper money is “violating the law by failing to design and issue currency that is readily distinguishable to blind and visually impaired people.” It was suggested that we print different sized bills or bills with raised ink. I think I have a better idea:
Print money on varying-grit sandpaper
So a twenty would be 200 grit, a ten would be 120 grit, a five would be 100, and so on. Plus, how many blind people do you know that spend too much money? None! So this would encourage them to not hold onto those bills for very long so as to not have to replace their wallet every thirty days. This would stimulate the economy, save the United States, AND stop most natural disasters as far as my research shows.
“Hey! This is too smooth! Are you trying to stiff me?!
Topics: Funny, Oh dear | 5 Comments »
Archie
By Logan | May 21, 2008
Dear David,
I’m a newspaper reporter just south of your hometown. You may not know it, but I’ve been following you and writing about you for weeks. Win or lose tonight, pal, I’m sure they’ll make me cover you, the hometown hero, for the rest of your musical life. So we might as well get to know each other. Wanna do lunch? Have your people call me directly, because I don’t have any people.
Sincerely,
Logan
P.S. You can find out more of how I feel about you by reading this Skinny column, published today.
Topics: Funny | 4 Comments »
People who care way too much
By Braden | May 21, 2008
I have a friend who is in an “ethics and values” class. I also took this same class a couple years ago and it hasn’t changed a bit. The actual title for this class should be “Get people angry class” because that’s all that happens. But that’s the best part about it, let me explain.
Neither ethics nor values are universally established, they vary drastically among people. So inevitably, when the teacher asks some ethical question and says, “Discuss,” people say things that can make you mad… but only if you actually care about stuff. I only care about making mad the people who care way too much about everything. Example:
What should you do when a homeless person asks you for money?
Student A: You should get to know them first before you give them anything.
Student B: You should give them money if you can no matter what.
Student C: I’m gonna kill both of you!
These are some of the responses I would have:
1. Well, homeless is a relative term, everybody has a home so technically they are not homeless.
2. I would rob a bank and then give all the money to the homeless people.
3. I was homeless once and all I wanted was beer, not money.
4. All homeless people should be euthanized.
Without doubt half or more of the class would want to stone me. What responses would you have?
Topics: Awesome, Funny, Gripes | 1 Comment »
Street art
By Braden | May 16, 2008
I admit it. I ride the bus. School and back, that’s it. There is a bus depot near my house which makes it easy, but it’s still the bus.
Anyway this is how the street around the depot loop is painted:
| |
| |
| |
| |
| BUS ONLY |
| LANE LANE |
| | | |
| | | |
| V V |
So is that Bus only, Lane lane… or Bus lane, only lane?
This is the lane for buses, this is the lane for “only”s?
Good work, UTA.
Topics: Funny, Oh dear | 2 Comments »
Twittering
By Logan | May 13, 2008
Some of you may have noticed a new item in our recently-upgraded sidebar. It’s because I’ve started using Twitter, a place where you can post updates, sort of like your status message on a chat program. I see it as a kind of mini-blog. Anyway, it’s a means for you, my most devoted fans, to follow me more closely. You could have accomplished this in many ways, but I’m making it easier (and less stalker-like) for you. Please use one of the following methods:
1. Go to twitter.com/loganex to see all my posts, updated very frequently.
2. Put my RSS feed into your favorite feed reader.
3. Get a Twitter account, and then:
3a. Add me to the list of people you’re following.
3b. Post updates frequently.
3c. Tell me so I can start following you.
This is all actually the result of me becoming tied to a computer for most of the day as I fill in as City Editor for the summer. I’m using my time wisely.
[UPDATE 05/16/08 5:28 p.m.] Braden is now in on it too. Follow him here or in our sidebar.
Topics: Funny | No Comments »
Spamming
By Logan | May 12, 2008
If you’re going to send me spam, you’ve got to come up with a more believable name than this:
Skeffington Mccleod
Topics: Funny | 1 Comment »
Disclaimers
By Braden | May 12, 2008
This one sent in by avid reader Ryan Nicholas.
Seen on scooter: “This product moves when used”
Topics: Awesome, Funny | 1 Comment »
On the topic of old people
By Braden | May 8, 2008
I do some volunteer work every once in a while at a local “Rest Home”. Rest home is a very appropriate name because all people do there is rest, at least that I can tell. They get comfy roll-a-beds and wheelchairs and motorized scooters and spine-stabilizing neck braces. But despite how rest ful it is, it’s still a pretty dismal place. Each time I go I don’t know who to feel worse for, the people who I recognize, the people who I don’t, or the people that those people replaced. In any case, at least they’re getting some rest.
On this last trip as I was walking in I overheard some janitorial ladies talking. There is a little pool in front of the building which used to have some large goldfish in it, but that changed. As these ladies were netting out several of the sideways-floating bodies, I hear them jabbering away in spanish saying, “C-P-R, C-P-R” and then cackling hysterically. This presents several disconcerting points:
1. A normal goldfish lives from the time you pick it out at the petshop until you are almost ready to give it to your child. The self-destruct mechanism goes off when the goldfish can see a fishbowl (or vase). But the fish at the rest home weren’t those little time-bombs, and the life expectancy should be much longer. So seeing more than five die at one time is not a good sign.
2. If goldfish are dying off and all you really need to do is feed them, it’s no wonder that there are new faces every time I visit.
3. Old people smell funny. I know this is only loosely related but it’s still disconcerting. Especially since we still haven’t figured out what causes it.
4. Cackling. Cackling is always disconcerting, no matter who it’s coming from.
Topics: Funny, Oh dear | 1 Comment »
Warning: Do not attempt to write a law school paper while in a plush rocking chair
By Logan | May 7, 2008
Or it will turn out like this one, courtesy of DP. (Hint: Use horizontal scroll.)
Right to Privacy: Where does it come from?
Griswold v. Connecticut
Fourteenth and Ninth Amendments
Eisenstadt: unmarried minors
Bowers v. Hardwick: (Ga.) upheld sodomy laws
Roe v. Wade
Fourteenth Amendment
1st trimester decision must be left to physician (overruled: now woman’s choice alone)
no regulation including health?
2nd trimester right of state to regulate health issues
3rd trimester state interest in life of fetus trumps mother’s interest
point of viability closer to 24 weeks but not a bright lineuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu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Lawrence
fundamental right to engage in homosexual conduct? no
strict scrutiny vs. rational basis tests
Topics: Funny | 2 Comments »
Flashback: Great Expectations
By Logan | May 6, 2008
Editor’s note: This gem, originally written by Braden on 05/29/07, comes to us from the few bits of content we were able to salvage from the old Dyneuxmite. Enjoy.
So the wife and I went to visit one of her friends in Idaho last weekend. She is a 1st grade teacher at a local elementary school near Boise. So she was going through some papers while we were there and I decided to read some of the thoughts of the coming generation. Each paper had a topic like “What I like about school,” or “What I want to be when I grow up.” Mostly the responses were pretty cute.
On the subject of “Favorite”: “My favorite thing about school is being a plane.” and, “My favorite thing about recess is ants. I hope they have ants in sekint grade.”
But undoubtedly the best topic was “What I would do if I were the teacher.” You know these kids hear the assignment and think, “Holy crap! Is she serious?!? Now’s my chance! I’m gonna change the face of first grade!” and then they get to work. And when they’re done, they look at their masterpiece and think, “Miss Ambrose is going to feel so stupid that she didn’t think of this first.”
“If I were the teacher I would let everyone go crazy. All the kids and the teachers would go crazy and everyone would be crazy and have recess. We would have recess all day and be crazy.”
Miss Ambrose reads through another one and thinks: “Hmm? Let everyone bring candy to school? that’s good … eat candy all day? genius!? make a candy swimming pool!! Why didn’t they teach me this stuff in college!!!! I’m a failure of a teacher!!”
So, obviously someone needs to take a closer look and the elementary education program at BYU. These are some great ideas that are being overlooked by the teaching community because anything that comes from someone smart enough to bare his buns (true story) and ask, “Notice anything different?” has got to be quality advice.
Topics: Funny | No Comments »
Two Questions
By Logan | May 2, 2008
http://nn.byu.edu/story.cfm/68453
1. Is “ink” a verb?
2a. Is “Tyillere” pronounced “Tyler”?
2b. Is “Tyillere” a chick or a dude?
1. I think you could use ink as a verb, in place of “sign.” “Three top-ranked players ink letters of intent.” It’s a little clumsy, but doable. But as it is used here, it sounds like there are now three ink-stained players, courtesy of the cougars. HA!
2a. No, quite obviously it rhymes with “Hillary.” “Tie-ill-er-ree.”
2b. So it’s a chick?
Topics: Funny | No Comments »
