Archive for June, 2008

America

Friday, June 27th, 2008

2nd verse, from Logan:
O beautiful, for pilgrim feet
Which cannot bear a load
Much less a path for freedom beat
Across an empty road!
America! America! God mend thine ev’ry flaw;
Thy soul is well when self propelled, thy body in a spa!

My new favorite blog (besides Dyneuxmite)

Thursday, June 26th, 2008

Seriously, so blessed!
Someone has done an excellent, excellent job with this, and my hat goes off to whoever it is. There’s nothing like young Mormon women for a good laugh! So good I left a comment on the top post.

More bragging

Thursday, June 26th, 2008

A couple more awards in the Utah chapter of the Society of Professional Journalists. This contest is also divided into divisions, but it’s only in Utah, so we only competed against the Spectrum in St. George and BYU’s Daily Universe. I won first place in medical reporting for the vaccine article and first place in [...]

Greatest food product ever invented

Thursday, June 26th, 2008

If you want to know what it is, read my latest Skinny column.
[UPDATE 5/26/08 1:46 p.m.] OK, so I’ll tell you what the food is: Kraft Macaroni & Cheese. Some woman left a message on my phone wanting to know if my column was tongue-in-cheek or if the Dietary Health Advisory Board really called Mac [...]

I reject your rejection letter

Wednesday, June 25th, 2008

Stumbled upon this fantastic bit of work:
Dear Professor Millington,

Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I
regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me
an assistant professor position in your department.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually
large number of rejection [...]

But wait…

Wednesday, June 25th, 2008

Just seen on a commercial for eyedrops:
“The most common side effect is a burning sensation in the eye”
I’ll take two.

Dyneuxpedia: Weights and Measures

Wednesday, June 11th, 2008

Editor’s note: The second in a continuing series of encyclopedic entries designed to share with the world the vast factual and historical knowledge of Dyneuxmite staff. For the first installment, click here.
A “gram” is equal to the weight of a cracker, and a “kilogram” is the amount of force required to end that cracker’s life. [...]

School is like…

Wednesday, June 11th, 2008

I am in Summer School right now. Not Summer School like “I was a bad kid during the rest of the year,” but Summer School like “I’m married.” I’m taking two classes that I really don’t like (read: “brutally despise”). So for me, at this point, school is like gambling. Allow me to explain.
I go [...]

And now, an award-winning journalist

Saturday, June 7th, 2008

That’s right folks, Dyneuxmite co-founder Logan Molyneux was awarded two prizes at the Associated Press’s regional competition this year. I won first place in General Reporting for this story I wrote about vaccines. I also won second place in the reviews category for my dining reviews. (I really can’t remember which three reviews I entered, [...]

A short history of Pilates

Thursday, June 5th, 2008

Pilates, as you all know, is a popular form of exercise among women and females. It involves moving, which means exercise. Pilates was invented back around 30 A.D. by a man named Pontius Pilate (you can see where it got its name). Pilate wasn’t well known and his exercise movement didn’t really catch on until [...]

How to have an enjoyable, romantic Saturday in 20 easy steps

Tuesday, June 3rd, 2008

1. Make plans to receive spa treatments with your wife while the baby sleeps at Grandpa’s house.2. Make plans to have lunch with your wife before spa treatments. Use a coupon to save money (she won’t mind).3. Scrap plans for lunch when baby won’t sleep.4. Scrap plans for spa treatments when baby still won’t sleep.5. [...]