Archive for March, 2008
« Previous EntriesBreaking news
Monday, March 31st, 2008Dyneuxmite correspondent DP has uncovered what is very probably an attempt on the Governor’s life. DP reports:
“While I was walking around the city and county building, I passed a tall, silver-haired man talking on his cell phone. And I overheard him say, “… and then the Lieutenant Governor will be Governor….”
Now a word from our [...]
Wouldn’t school security notice what they’re carrying? Even if it’s in a case?
Monday, March 31st, 2008“Students Make a Case for Carrying Guns to School” – Headline, 3/19/08, NPR
Robots
Thursday, March 27th, 2008This is priceless. Thanks for the tip, Rob.
Panel discussion, “Are we giving robots too much power?”
Dyneuxmite’s World Famous Nap Recipe
Tuesday, March 25th, 2008This is a little something that’s been passed down from generation to generation, starting with myself.
Scrumptious Winter Nap
Preheat sleeping surface to 72 degrees.*
Prepare the following ingredients:
1 Cool sheet
1-2 warm blankets
2-3 large down pillows, fluffed
1 you
2 windows, closed (preferably with drapes or blinds)
1 music player (ambient sound machine may be substituted)
1 alarm clock
1 large, lockable, bedroom
1 [...]
Hierarchies, part 2
Tuesday, March 25th, 2008List of things that need to be cleaned, from most important to least.
1. Yourself (including teeth and mind)
2. Dishes
3. Clothes and bedclothes
4. Your child’s room
5. Your room
6. The movie theater floor
7. Movies, in general
8. And music, for that matter
9. Desk at work
10. Cars
11. Under the bed
12. A pig sty
13. Landfills
14. The toilet bowl
A few days [...]
Top Ten Myths about Dyneuxmite’s first week back
Monday, March 24th, 2008Myth #10: There were some bad posts.
Fact: All the posts were received very well, except the one about the toilet woman, which was so gross that no one commented.
Myth #9: There should be more coverage of flying cars here.
Fact: Transportation coverage is the job of the Daily Herald. A guy has been coming [...]
This needs no title
Friday, March 21st, 2008(Be patient. It’s a little slow.)
Bet he’s never heard this one
Thursday, March 20th, 2008Here’s what I’m dying to ask Mr. Obama:
“So, how’s your Barack-et?”
HAR!
Engrish
Wednesday, March 19th, 2008I ate Chinese the other day. I took a look at my chopsticks wrapper and, well… see for yourself.
Welcome to Chinese Restaurant
please try your Nice Chinese Food With Chopsticks
the traditional and typical of Chinese glonous history.
and cultual.
BAMBOO CHOPSTLCKS
PRODUCT OF CHINA
Tuk under thurnb
and held firmly
Learn how [...]
Hierarchies, pt. 1
Monday, March 17th, 2008Tasty foods (non-dessert) from worst EVER to best:
1. pickles (worst thing ever invented by man, I refuse to even capitalize it)
2. Liver
3. Beets
4. Fish
5. Broccoli
6. Salad
7. Salad with chicken
8. Salad with chicken and bacon and ham and cheese
9. Sub sandwich
10. Philly cheesesteak sandwich
11. Pizza
12. Meat-lovers pizza
13. Double Layer Meat-lovers pizza
14. Steak
15. Grilled Steak
16. Steak and [...]
Short answer, Long answer
Monday, March 17th, 2008Seen in a local newspaper: “Does birth order affect children?”
Short answer: Yes
Long answer: Yes of course, you idiot.
This post brought to you by the letter “O”
Monday, March 17th, 2008The letter “O” (pronounced “O”) is a very versatile letter. It can be used in many words, from “awesome” to “blog” to “Dyneuxmite”. Let me give you a few examples:
Cove, rove, grove, stove, wove (”oh” sound)
Love, above, glove (”uh” sound)
Move (”oo” sound)
As you see here, by sheer willpower the O makes itself sound different even [...]
And we’re back!
Monday, March 17th, 2008It’s been too long. But hopefully these will make up for our absence. See all the posts below as well as a new page we’ve started, where you can help us pick a new Dyneuxmite theme song. And we thrive on feedback, so leave your comments wherever you go. Hope you brought your Grand Re-Opening [...]
There was an old woman who lived on the loo
Monday, March 17th, 2008Just when I was wondering where on earth I could get inspiration for a gut-busting re-opening post, a Kansas trailer park woman goes and sits on a toilet for so long her body grew around the seat.
I am not kidding. Read this and this; and then go watch this; and you can also check here [...]
And speaking of toilets…
Monday, March 17th, 2008These are by far the prettiest we’ve seen. I don’t know if you’re really supposed to pee on them.
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