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WooooooooOOOOOOOooooo, it sure has been a while. No promises about future blogging, but this post promises to be a winner. Mostly because the people I saw on the bus today were. Winners, that is. On the bus with me today: - This guy who fell asleep mid-text. I saw him slumped over like this and his eyes were closed and he was doing the heavy breathing. His hand was motionless, suspended about an inch from his screen, pointing at it . . . → Read More: On the bus: Still alive I forget what I’m supposed to be doing. On the bus with me today: - Nobody. Is it Saturday and I don’t know it? - Finally some people start getting on. One guy walks in like he owns the place. He has square features, shaggy hair and a wild goatee. Oh, I get it! I’m an extra in a Geico commercial. (OK, so he is not a caveman. He stood up as the bus got full and a mother with . . . → Read More: On the bus: Whatstoday? A short one, but there are two important people I want to tell you about. On the bus with me today: - Lots of runners, the people who see the bus coming and start sprinting to catch it. One lady is so relieved she made it that she cannot stop sighing, like, “WOOOOOOOooooooo!” Every other breath she is saying to the whole bus, “Did you see that? I RAN, baby, ’cause there was gonna be trouble if I didn’t catch . . . → Read More: On the bus: We are angry and relieved Well, you can’t write about ALL the crazy people on the bus. Just the ones without red hair or blue hair. Narrows it down. On the bus with me today: A guy who smells like churros sits down next to me. He is bigger than I am and could beat me up, so I am not making fun of him, just stating that I now detect the aroma of fried dough sprinkled with cinnamon, whereas before I did not. His . . . → Read More: On the bus: Hairsday Can someone please pass the hot chocolate? It’s freezing out there. On the bus with me today: - A bunch of people who think 60 degrees is cold. We’ve got sweaters, hoodies, jackets and full-on coats. People wear their hoods and beanies even while on the bus. The mothers have their children bundled up in fuzzy coats with the fur-lined hoods or covered by blankets in their car seats. No kidding. Heaven help us all survive this dreadful “cold” front . . . → Read More: On the bus: Coldsday It’s Fra-eee-day, Fra-eee-day, people, and I gotta make my mind up, which seat do I take? On the bus with me today: -A tall bus driver with corn rows and a toothpick sticking out of his mouth. This is what NBA players are doing these days, I guess. -A baby ‘fro. But he got the comb up in it, so it’s legit. Also, (fake?) diamond earrings. Update: A second short Afro gets on the bus, with the same black . . . → Read More: On the bus: Fra-eeee-day The Tuesday people are just glad it is not Monday anymore. On the bus with me today: -This one lady with small glasses was eating some fruit snacks. I wanted to ask her for some but she kinda has a mustache and sideburns. Her hat has an American flag and a mean-looking eagle on it. Her name is or should be Starla. - It was someone from the band Boston or just a normal white guy with an Afro. . . . → Read More: On the bus: Tuesday special I wasn’t gonna do this today, but now I have to. On the bus with me today: - A guy with a rag under his hat that hangs down over his ears and neck. Today is the only cloudy day in the last two weeks and it is 15 degrees cooler than usual. But this guy looks like he is in the middle of a sun-baked camel ride across the Sahara. - A lady who apparently asked the bus . . . → Read More: On the bus: Friday morn On the bus with me today: - A guy who has a nervous tick where he has to be tapping his fingers on his lips all the time. He tries to put his hand down in his lap but it pops back up there and his fingers start wiggling under his nose. Maybe he was a smoker and is trying to quit but the body has this hand-mouth connection it can’t let go of. His glasses hang around his neck . . . → Read More: On the bus: Friday a.m. On the bus with me today: - A guy with a mole the size of a gumdrop above his lip. It was just like the guy in one of the Austin Powers films, can’t remember which, except I didn’t see this guy’s mole move at all. Guaca-MOLE-y. - There is always someone who is so wide they take up two seats. Today it is a woman using a pink Sony e-reader. - The guy across the aisle from . . . → Read More: On the bus: Wednesday a.m. |
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