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A short history of Pilates

By Braden | June 5, 2008

Pilates, as you all know, is a popular form of exercise among women and females. It involves moving, which means exercise. Pilates was invented back around 30 A.D. by a man named Pontius Pilate (you can see where it got its name). Pilate wasn’t well known and his exercise movement didn’t really catch on until he was briefly mentioned in a popular publication, the Bible. The Bible was a popular journal of the day and could be found at newsstands and in supermarkets, so to be mentioned there was a pretty big deal. Anyway, Pilate was actually more well known for being the father of aviation (you can see where pilots get their name).

After making some bad court-related decisions he fled the country and changed his name to Pontius Wright. Upon settling in Kittyhawk, NC, he met a couple dudes named Wilbur Wright and Orville Redenbacher. Wilbur was actually just a pig that got famous for having some spider for a friend and Orville had some crazy obsession with corn and butter. After hanging out with these guys for a while, Pontius got bored and built a jumbo jet. But since jet fuel didn’t exist at the time he became depressed and faded from history books. Orville, after having success in other industries, used some of his money to make a lightweight aircraft. He, too, changed his name to Wright and, after putting Wilbur in the plane and launching it with a giant rubber band, became famous (with his “brother”) for being the inventor of flight. And that, my friends, is how we got the phrase “when pigs fly”. The end.

Topics: Awesome, Funny |

4 Responses to “A short history of Pilates”

  1. Hahha ha HAH ha HAH! I sense a new series of historical articles coming on.

    Posted by: Anonymous on June 5th, 2008 at 9:31 pm
  2. So, did Pontius Pilate pronounced his name “puh-LAH-tee”?

    Posted by: DP on June 6th, 2008 at 3:21 am
  3. Yep, the Bible staff really screwed that one up.

    Posted by: Braden on June 6th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
  4. [...] A short history of Pilates [...]

    Posted by: Dyneuxpedia: Weights and Measures at Dyneuxmite on June 11th, 2008 at 6:26 pm

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