« Bright Ideas | Home | A short history of Pilates »
How to have an enjoyable, romantic Saturday in 20 easy steps
By Logan | June 3, 2008
1. Make plans to receive spa treatments with your wife while the baby sleeps at Grandpa’s house.
2. Make plans to have lunch with your wife before spa treatments. Use a coupon to save money (she won’t mind).
3. Scrap plans for lunch when baby won’t sleep.
4. Scrap plans for spa treatments when baby still won’t sleep.
5. Go out for lunch while Grandpa plays with baby because you’re starving by now.
6. Discover the coupon is no longer valid because restaurant has closed down.
7. Choose another restaurant nearby for which you also have a coupon.
8. Discover that restaurant has also closed down, making your coupon invalid and ruining plans for lunch.
9. Grab something to eat at Wendy’s, including a chocolate Frosty dairy dessert.
10. Go pick up baby, who is a wreck after being awake for seven hours straight, possibly setting a baby record.
11. Rush home, forgetting to take important items from Grandpa’s with you (mountain bikes, maybe).
12. Lull baby to sleep with high-speed freeway driving.
13. Arrive home and unload car, except for baby, who is still sleeping.
14. Call for wife to carry sleeping baby into house.
15. Helpfully offer to hold front door for wife but fail to notice half-open garage door hovering just at forehead height.
16. Collide with garage door along hairline causing cranial laceration and quite a loud crash.
17. Collapse on driveway in pain and despair as your head bleeds and your baby awakes, screaming.
18. Call brother to cancel evening plans on account of massive headache and inconsolable child.
19. Take four ibuprophen and crawl under bed.
20. Wait for Sunday.
Topics: Funny |
HAHAHA! That was the most relaxing weekend we’ve ever spent together. Can we do it again next week?
Posted by: Hillary on June 3rd, 2008 at 9:02 pmyou forgot the step where you called to cancel your reservations at the spa and found you didn’t have any in the first place. though not a vital step in the outcome of your saturday, it still adds to the romantic ambience of the day!
Posted by: jenna on June 4th, 2008 at 4:51 amHey, at least your brother came and performed HEAVY repairs on your DVD player.
Posted by: Braden on June 4th, 2008 at 2:23 pmWhat?! We didn’t even have reservations at the spa place? After all those text messages? Wow, that does add to the ambiance.
Posted by: Anonymous on June 4th, 2008 at 10:42 pmI found your web page through Annie and I am so glad I did, it is hiarious! I totally can relate to this post and find it absolutly typical of a date night.
Posted by: Chrystal (Brewer) Wilcox on June 22nd, 2008 at 9:26 pm