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Dyneuxmite’s World Famous Nap Recipe
By Braden | March 25, 2008
This is a little something that’s been passed down from generation to generation, starting with myself.
Scrumptious Winter Nap
Preheat sleeping surface to 72 degrees.*
Prepare the following ingredients:
1 Cool sheet
1-2 warm blankets
2-3 large down pillows, fluffed
1 you
2 windows, closed (preferably with drapes or blinds)
1 music player (ambient sound machine may be substituted)
1 alarm clock
1 large, lockable, bedroom
1 medium chainsaw, oiled, and/or hammer
Prepare windows by setting drapes or blinds to let in minimal light, do not completely darken room. Set alarm clock by lightly running chainsaw through it, repeat if using hammer. Keep hammer by bed.
In large bedroom, mix first set of ingredients in order, lock door. Stir with arms, legs for approx. 5 min. If desired, turn on music player for soft background noise. Remove blankets if temperature too high.
Let rest for 2-3 hours. If door somehow opens, just reach for hammer, keeping eyes closed. If door doesn’t shut promptly, growl menacingly, 2 to 3 growls as necessary.
Upon awakening, let cool for 15-20 min in wrappings. Call for dinner.
*(The preferred method of heating is putting spouse on surface for 10-15 min. Adjust longer for altitude)
Topics: Awesome |
This recipe crosses all barriers, and should be sent world wide to all those poor souls who don’t know the luxury they could have in life, regardless of circumstances.
Posted by: mom on March 26th, 2008 at 6:36 pmOf course it is already World Famous!
Posted by: mom on March 26th, 2008 at 6:37 pmI tried this recipe out and I loved it! But I had a couple questions. Should I rotate regularly during the two to three hours? And what do I do if I throw the hammer? Should I have a spare, or just reach for the chainsaw?
Posted by: Mary on March 27th, 2008 at 4:00 pmI have a question. Since I do not currently own a spouse are there any alternatives to preheat the surface?
Posted by: Ryan on March 28th, 2008 at 12:34 amIf I don’t have a spouse handy I use small animals (dogs, cats, etc.) But if I don’t have those either, I just wrap up a space heater and toss it under the covers until I smell something funny.
Posted by: Braden on March 28th, 2008 at 2:11 pm