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Top Ten Myths about Dyneuxmite’s first week back

By Logan | March 24, 2008

Myth #10: There were some bad posts.
Fact: All the posts were received very well, except the one about the toilet woman, which was so gross that no one commented.

Myth #9: There should be more coverage of flying cars here.
Fact: Transportation coverage is the job of the Daily Herald. A guy has been coming into the office every other day trying to convince the editors to print a story he wrote called “Where’s my hover stuff?”

Myth #8: Dyneuxmite’s visitors are weekend surfers.
Fact: Traffic plunged from hundreds of views (give or take) during the week to seven views on Saturday and six views on Sunday.

Myth #7: That means Dyneuxmite readers are wasting time at work.
Fact: Dyneuxmite’s readers are a highly productive, responsible group who just happen to have a good sense of humor. And we would never dream of wasting work time, especially not at this time of year.

Myth #6: Those Dyneuxmite theme songs are terrible. They don’t suit my tastes.
Fact: You obviously haven’t checked the page recently. The latest one will surely appeal to a wide audience.

Myth #5: You’re kidding, right?
Fact: Nope.

Myth #4: That chopsticks wrapper has English writing on it.
Fact: The words on the back are not part of any discernible modern language.

Myth #3: Nap is not a food.
Fact: A recipe for Nap is coming right up. As soon as we invent it.

Myth #2: Braden has some sort of strange biological quirk like double-jointedness that allows him to compress his entire head.
Fact: That’s not how he did it, weirdo.

Myth #1: I liked the old Dyneuxmite better.
Fact: No you didn’t.

Topics: Funny |

2 Responses to “Top Ten Myths about Dyneuxmite’s first week back”

  1. My whole world has been turned upside-down!!!!

    Posted by: Braden on March 25th, 2008 at 1:00 am
  2. I kinda did like the old Dyneuxmite better, it healed my son.

    Posted by: clyde on March 25th, 2008 at 6:42 pm

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